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Jolly Father Christmas
Why is Santa Claus always so jolly?
Bcoz he knows where the naughty girls live!
Wine at Christmas
What’s the most popular wine at Christmas?
“I don’t like sprouts!”
Santa is bad
Santa is as bad as any other man. He comes uninvited, eats your food,leaves before you get up, and thinks giving presents will make up for not being around!
The stages of your life at Christmas
The 3 stages of ur life @ xmas:
1) U believe in Santa
2) U dont believe in Santa
3) U are Santa
He knows when you are sleeping!
Santa knows when u r sleepin, he knows when ur awake. He knows if uve been bad or good… so stop posting updates on Facebook as he obviously has an account!
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don’t annoy me for the next 12 months!!!
Big fat man
If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry ’cause I told Santa I wanted you for Сhristmas!